What is parent coaching and how it can help you
Maybe your child doesn't listen to you, maybe you're dealing with repeated tantrums and meltdowns, or maybe you have a child with a strong will and you don't know how to handle it. You've read a lot of parenting books and find them hard to implement? Know that you're not alone, I've been there too!
As a mother and parenting coach, I help parents like you overcome difficulties with their children. No one teaches us how to raise our children, and in most cases, we apply the model we learned from our parents. Whether it's the parenting style you grew up with or you realize there are certain things you'd do differently, you've probably asked yourself, "How do I raise my child?" There are many parenting styles. Our generation has experienced either the authoritarian parenting style, where the child couldn't express their feelings or the permissive parenting style, where there are no boundaries. The transformational parenting style is somewhere in the middle and involves healthy discipline by establishing and implementing rules that make the child feel safe and respected. The child feels seen and heard because these are his basic needs.
When I work with parents, I help them become aware of their child's behavior and be curious and try to look a little deeper than what they see on the outside. Let's think about what he might be feeling? What would it need? What is it trying to communicate through its behavior? One of the most common parenting methods is punishing "bad" behavior through various methods such as reward lists, time-outs, and verbal or physical punishment. Not only do these methods not work and lead to frustration for the little one and us, but they also contradict the brain's developmental process.
At this point, I intervene. The method that works, and that I use in my everyday parenting and help other parents do the same, begins by getting to know ourselves better. By first establishing a safe relationship with ourselves by becoming aware of our family history, our upbringing, our values, and our triggers, we can understand our experiences and become compassionately curious about ourselves instead of blaming, shaming, or reacting in ways we may later regret. After self-regulation, we can help our children co-regulate. This is how we lay the foundation for emotional intelligence, resilience, and conscious communication.
In moments of stress, parents are extremely dysregulated, overwhelmed by physical sensations, and unable to cooperate with their children. In coaching sessions, I guide parents to self-regulate so they can help their child co-regulate. In a safe and non-judgmental environment, we build new neural pathways that connect uncomfortable emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness with compassion, self-compassion, and understanding.
My approach is to get away from this endless attempt to control behavior. Instead of talking about "crying fits," "tantrums," or "meltdowns," refer only to a dysregulated nervous system. When you make this change, you'll look at your child from a new perspective and see everything with much more compassion and empathy, and become curious about the needs the behavior is trying to communicate. This goes for everyone around you.
What I've told you so far doesn't make sense. Maybe it's hard for you too, and that's why I'm offering you a free consultation hour. In this hour we can get to know each other, learn more about your situation, and understand what you need to have a connected, safe relationship with your child and yourself. You can think of this conversation as a first step toward a new relationship between you and your child, with no obligations, but with the promise that you'll better understand your family dynamics. If you feel that you'd like to get more clarity, book a conversation with me now!
I'm happy and honored to do this work because we're all struggling and need help. You're welcome to contact me.
